


Surrender

by WondersoftheMultiverse



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Blood, Broken Bone, Complete, F/M, Graphic Injury, Mild Language, Reader-Insert, Smut, brief mention of smut, shuttle crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-13 00:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11172774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WondersoftheMultiverse/pseuds/WondersoftheMultiverse
Summary: “What’s wrong?”You glanced upwards just in time to register Jim coming around, he had obviously passed out from the pain; something you didn’t blame him for. Glancing back to the leg, you numbly noted that your golden uniform was already turning crimson as it soaked up the blood which leaked from the open wound. Smiling you batted the comment away with a wave of your hand.“It’s fine, you’re just overreacting as usual.”





	Surrender

**Surrender**

The sensation of wind rustling across your face and through your hair overpowered your senses, dragging you back to consciousness and away from the embracing darkness which comforted you despite the current crisis. Gasping, your eyes slipped open slowly; becoming momentarily overwhelmed by the cold wisps of air which attacked them. Screwing them tightly closed once again, you struggled to breathe as the air around you continued to batter your body.

“RAPID DECOMPRESSION AND LOSS OF POWER TO THE RIGHT ENGINE, ENTERPRISE DO YOU COPY?”

Slowly your other senses began to reawaken, your ears picking up the faint voices from far to your left. Swallowing slowly, you pushed away the dry lump which settled in your throat. Your mind was a jumble as you struggled to pinpoint where you were, or even how you got there. With your eyes still closed, your hands began to trace the seat which cradled you. The cold metal frame trailed up to your elbows, where it eventually smoothed out into a plastic shell; slipping higher to the arm rest, your fingers suddenly graced the soft skin of someone beside you.

“LEFT ENGINE POWER IS DECREASING SIR.”

“(Y/N)?”

You turned your head to the side gently, facing the familiar voice.

“Jim.” You hum, your voice betraying you as it faltered.

Slowly your right eye cracked open, meeting those of James Tiberius Kirk. A wave of relief settled over the captain, as a small triumphant smile grew across his features; his hair rustling erratically from the air which rumbled over you both.

“What-” You paused,“What’s happening?”

Jim frowned worriedly as he opened his mouth to respond, however a sudden shout from beside him caught his attention once again.

“Jim.” You mumbled, an aching pain beginning to spread across your ears and right side of your face. Your queries went unanswered by Jim as he continued to speak with another occupant across from him.

“KEEP IT WORKING LIEUTENANT, IT’S THE ONLY SOURCE OF LIFT WE HAVE!”

Ignoring the shrill icy wind which continued to lower your body temperature, you slowly opened your right eye; blinking away the tears which settled across it’s surface and threatened to escape down your cheeks. Turning, you began to take in your surroundings hoping that the memories would return with it.

You knew you were in a shuttle, that much was identifiable by the sound of the thundering wind as it reverberated around the metal hull. Above you, various storage cabinets were open; their doors clanking loudly as they stood empty, devoid of their original contents. Allowing your eyes to fall, you hesitated when you discovered the source of the torrent of air; the breath leaving your lungs instantaneously in shock.

“ENTERPRISE DO YOU COPY?” A loud voice shouted, from the pilot’s area. His voice crackled in the speakers as you found your breath quickening in panic. “THIS IS SHUTTLE GALLELLO TWO. WHILE TRANSPORTING THE AWAY TEAM TO THE HIBOSHI GOVERNMENT WE WERE STRUCK BY AN UNIDENTIFIED MISSILE ON THE RIGHT SIDE. WE HAVE A MAJOR HULL BREACH, LOSS OF POWER TO THE RIGHT ENGINE AND LOSING THRUST IN THE LEFT.”

Wide eyed you continued to hyperventilate as you peered through the large hull breach, wide towering mountains covered in snow and ice seemed to grow in size as you plummeted towards them, the terrain which nestled at the foot of the mountains was a deep green colour; tall trees reaching for the bright blue sky above. Fighting to control your breathing, you held you breath for a few seconds; your head dizzying at the sudden change. Focusing on the terrain, you tried in vain to distract your mind, the scenery before you reminding you of a much happier place; home.

_You stood to attention and proud as your commanding officer slowly relieved himself from the podium before you. Overhead, the thundering engines of passing jets echoed off the nearby skyscrapers as they passed by the memorial. Clapping, you found yourself staring at the flag of the federation neatly folded on the plaque before you, the memories of Khan’s destruction broiling away at the back of your mind. So many people had lost their lives that day._

_Gradually the crowd began to disperse as the memorial drew to an end, not sensing the body move up beside you, your gaze remained fixated with the flag and what it stood to represent._

_“I’m glad that’s over.”_

_Snapping your head upwards, you smiled at the face of Jim; the best friend you had almost lost._

_“It’s all over now.” You cemented, pushing the darkening thoughts away from your mind. Pulling a cheery facade, you turned to jim; extending your arm outwards as you gestured for him to loop through it. “Now I just need to worry about Christmas.”_

_Jim took your arm, leading you away from the empty chairs and back towards Starfleet’s headquarters. “You could always spend the holidays with me.”_

_You turned to meet his gaze; his cerulean eyes boring into your own as he watched for your reaction carefully. Remaining silent, Jim continued. ”You know I don’t like to go back to Iowa, and considering this is the last couple of weeks we have on Earth… you’re more than welcome to join.”_

_You bit your lip as you shook your head slowly, “Nice try Jim, but-”_

_The captain ceased his walking completely, his arms drawing away from your own as he raised them in surrender. Stopping mid sentence, you leaned to one side as a cocky grin slipped across his features, his eyes glistening with humor._

_“It would be completely platonic. Promise.”_

_Raising an eyebrow you leaned forwards, the warmth of the setting sun resting across your face. “Where are you going?”_

_“Don’t know yet, anywhere. I was thinking Yellowstone-”_

_“Will there be trouble?” You interrupted, a small smirk gracing your lips._

_“Most likely.” Jim laughed, his eyebrows rising as he leaned away; his arm extended for you to accept. “You in?”_

_“I’m In.” You announced, accepting the waiting arm. “But strictly platonic.”_

Blinking away the memory, your head snapped across to meet Jim. The captain seemed to also be staring out at the expanse of terrain which quickly grew on the horizon, his eyes hesitantly meeting yours. Swallowing a dry lump from your pinched throat, you smiled as warmly as you could; his hand still clutching yours as he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

A loud explosion caused the whole shuttle to rock violently, a brief yell erupting from the back of your throat as you closed your eyes away from the vertigo which momentarily overwhelmed your senses. Once the rocking settled, you opened your eyes again; widening in shock as you noticed that from the breach you could see what remained of the right wing and engine; a blazing fire scorching the metal and sending a plume of smoke out behind you.

Feeling your breath quicken again, you closed your eyes once more as you tried in vain to calm yourself. A tension building in your legs and arms, as you began to cramp up in fear; anxiety settling in your stomach as you took a shuddering deep breath.

“WHAT’S GOING ON UP THERE?” Jim called from beside you, his voice strong and unwavering as he tried to catch the pilot’s attention.

Opening your eyes, you focused on your job role as an executive command officer. The crew needed to come first and slipping into an anxiety attack now was not going to help. Taking comfort from Jim’s contact, you mirrored the captain’s position and leaned backwards; your eyes following Jim’s line of sight.

The front of the shuttle remained intact, as the two pilots sat before the viewscreen as they fiddled away at the controls before them. The door which usually separated the hull hanging limply as it swayed to and fro, giving you and Jim a perfect view of the growing terrain on the horizon. Despite the captain’s call however, the two pilots at the front seemed oblivious, his words being lost on the thundering claps of air and consistent whining of the failing left engine.

Turning your head more, your mind began to work overtime. Forgetting the memory loss which seemed to plague you when you tried to recall the moments leading up to the current predicament.

Around you seats lined the walls, however not all of them were filled. Or at least, you hoped they hadn’t been prior to the breach and rapid decompression. From what you could tell, there were six of you in the hull altogether. Yourself and Jim the two main commanding officers sat in the centre row of chairs, while the remaining four officers two security and two science sat dotted across the shuttle.

A sudden shift beside you made you turn to Jim, his attention once again on the security officer which sat directly to his right.  

“HELP!”

Your senses snapped to attention as you twitched your eyes across the shuttle to a science ensign. The young woman sat diagonally from you, her long chocolate hair blowing uncontrollably in the wind, her posture displayed obvious signs of panic as she clutched tightly to the seat which held her; her features screwed tightly together in fear.

Confused you tilted your head, it wasn’t until you noted how the ensigns chair was slowly sliding to the right; closer to you and the breach in the hull when you realised her cause for concern. A loud creaking sound rocked the shuttle again, as you watched another section of metal detach itself from the hull; a seat which had been close slipping away and tumbling out and down into the environment below. Suppressing a shiver, your features steeled in resolve as years of command techniques overtook your mind.

“HEY! WHAT’S YOUR NAME!” You cried, your eyes locked onto the ensign before you. Slowly she looked upwards, tears streaming down her face as she seemingly surrendered to her fate.

“Ensign Vea, Mam. Iris Vea.” Iris sobbed softly.

“Iris, nice name.” You echoed, a small warm grin tugging at your lips as you tried to instill a sense of hope. “Listen I need you to try and stay calm for me OK?”

Nodding frantically, Ensign Vea ceased her shaking. “Ok. But-”

“No, listen to me.” You ordered, “Can you undo your buckle? Take your time, don’t rush or you will make it worse!”

Looking downwards, Ensign Vea began to tug at the leather straps which held her in place. Her teeth visible against her lips as she bit at them in suspense. Slowly and with shaking hands, the young woman began to fiddle with the metal clasp which tied the straps together, her fingers fumbling clumsily.

A second loud explosion reverberated through the shuttle, sending it rocking once more before suddenly stilling completely. A soft scream erupted from Ensign Vea’s lips as it beckoned in a deafening silence, only the sound of a tumbling waves of air pummeling through the breach filled the atmosphere, the whining of a struggling engine no longer able to be heard.

“THAT’S IT THE LEFT ENGINE’S GONE!” The pilot shouted across to his copilot as the shuttle began to glide. “WE HAVE LOST ALL LIFT!”

Feeling the hunk of metal drop a couple of feet, your stomach rose to your mouth. From the breach, you watched helplessly as the shuttle slipped down and through the thin cloudline; heading ever closer to the mountains in the distance.

“It’s not working.” Ensign Vea pleaded, her voice slightly more audible now the shuttle had lost both engines. Turning your attention back to the situation at hand, your eyes met that of the panicked science officer, the tears returning to her eyes as she shook her head slowly.  “Please, I don’t want to die!”

The young woman screamed again as her seat shifted closer towards the breach.

Taking a deep breath, your eyes scanned the surroundings for a plan B. However, much to your disappointment, no alternative seemed to blossom to light. Sighing, you decided it was time to take it into your own hands.  “You’re not going to. I’m going to come over there and we are going to get you out, but I’m going to need your help.”

“H-How?” Iris questioned, her eyes fluttering as she fought to keep them open against the wind.

Leaning forwards, your eyes narrowed as you caught a glimpse of the empty chair beside her. Across from it was a small cargo area for storing larger equipment, the metallic walls were lined with large industrial buckles and grips which could withstand high amounts of exerted pressure. With that, a lightbulb appeared in your mind as you jutted your chin upwards with determination.

Gesturing to the seat beside Ensign Vea, you caught the young woman’s attention once again. “See the seat next to you, I need you to unbuckle that and get it ready for me.”

Nodding, Iris Vea turned immediately; her hands working at the leather straps as she worked to prepare it. “Yes M’am.”

You looked down at your own seat, drawing a deep and calming breath. Glancing across to the armrest, you were surprised to note that Jim still had his hand clasped around yours; his knuckles a stark white colour. Smiling inwardly, you gently brought your free hand over, your numbing fingers coaxing your hand free and away from the warmth and security that Jim provided.

Noting the loss of your hand, Jim’s head rocketed away from the officer across from him and back to you; his eyes wide and eyebrow arching as he noted you had began to undo your restraints.

“(Y/N)… what are you doing?” Jim began, his tone disbelieving.

Feeling your fingers quake as they touched the coarse metal of the buckle, you shrugged; not willing to meet his gaze. “Ensign Vea needs help.”

Jim shook his head in disagreement to your plan, “You can’t! You’ll get sucked out the breach!”

Kirk paused momentarily, causing you to turn to him inquisitively. His eyes had left you and were instead locked onto Iris across from you. The young ensign in question was bent over seemed not to notice, as she remained curled over; her eyes shut and tears streaming down her cheeks as she muttered a prayer beneath her breath.

Spotting the same look which had graced Jim’s face when he sacrificed himself to save the crew, you felt your resolve harden.

“I’ll go.” Kirk stated, his hands beginning to work at his own harness.

“No!” You exclaimed, your fingers entwining around his own and stopping him. “Jim, No! I’m closer to Iris than you are, it’ll be easier for me.”

“(Y/N) I can’t let you-”

You felt your heart warm at the display of concern, “If I don’t do anything, she will die Jim.”

Jim Kirk’s eyebrows fell at the comment, his eyes hesitating between you and the ensign. “Then let me-”

“No, you’ll be too slow.” You quipped quickly, knowing that you were winning. Pausing, you allowed your hands to hesitate on his own, squeezing them once.  “Trust me.”

Jim looked at you then, his eyes pouring into your own as he slowly lowered them to your hands. Releasing them gently, he nodded in affirmation. “Ok, Fine. But-” He glanced around him, his eyes widening as he grasped some nearby cargo netting. Tearing the material free, he wrapped it around his chair before turning to you. “Take this. That way I still have a hold of you.”

You suppressed a laugh as the shuttle rocked again, his hands thrusting the material closer. “Are you sure you won’t be tempted to let go?”

“What! No.” He blew a raspberry as you accepted the cargo netting, the elasticated material wrapping and tightening around your wrist. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Well ain’t that reassuring.” You sighed, your hands hovering over the release clasp.

Pressing down hard, the metal clasp clicked in response; the two leather straps which held you in place ripping away instantly. Holding on to the metal of the chair tightly, you slowly rose in your seat; your feet faltering at the surprising strength of the wind which threatened to pull you from the hull.

Shuffling one step forwards, you moved your hands to the next chair for support; the metal stinging your numbing hands as you slowly lost sensation. Shivering at the cold wind, your pulled yourself forwards with all the strength you had, with the elasticated material still wrapped tightly around your wrist. Above you, the communication channel spluttered with static as the pilot seemingly prepared to make an announcement.

“CAPTAIN, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME-” The pilot paused, a groan rumbling in the back of his throat. “I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THE SHUTTLE DOWN, THE MOUNTAINS WILL BE OUR BEST BET, THE TREE’S ARE JUST TOO DENSE! I’VE TRIED THE ENTERPRISE BUT THERE IS NO RESPONSE!”

With half of your limited attention absorbed on the message, your feet slipped as you stepped on some loose metal causing you to fall onto one knee. Instantaneously the elastic around your arm tightened drastically as Kirk pulled it sharply, the fabric biting at your skin and leaving a burn mark. Wincing, you risked a glance back to Jim; your eyes narrowing accusingly.

Ignoring your glare, Jim’s attention switched back to the front of the shuttle. “OK! LET US KNOW WHEN!”

“YES SIR!” The voice of the pilot responded, obviously able to hear Jim as they slowly glided down towards the terrain below.

Climbing back to your feet, you continued to shuffle forwards until you reached the point at which you would need to throw yourself across to the other side of the shuttle. Your stomach lurched at the concept, your eyes momentarily tracing the breach as image of you flying out of it popped into your head.

Taking a deep breath, you ignored the growing mountains beyond the breach; your head inclining back to Kirk as you signalled for him to hold tightly. With your full attention back on Ensign Vea, you forced a confident grin on to your features as you gestured towards the chair beside her.

Nodding slowly, the ensign threw the buckles wide clearing the space for your arrival.

With a large kick, you flung yourself forwards. The wind whipped around you as it pulled you slightly off target, your arms hitting the metal hard and causing you to groan in protest. None the less, your grip tightened around the foot of the chair; Ensign Vea’s own arms helping to guide you back.

Climbing to your feet, your hands traced the metal of the seat up to the armrests as you sat back into it. Luckily, the pressure of the wind was now on your side as it forced you further back into the seat and Iris. Letting out a large sigh in relief, you tugged away at the biting elastic which encircled your wrist; your fingers hesitating on your broken skin. Ignoring the stinging sensation, you proceeded to attach the old cargo netting line to the leg of your chair, giving it a good tug before turning back to the problem at hand.

“I’m here!” You announced, a hand wrapping around the Ensign and giving her a brief but friendly hug.

“T-Thank you!” Iris stammered, her shoulders sagging in obvious relief.

“No problem.” You answered nonchalantly, turning in your chair you began to grasp at the cargo restraint; tugging it sharply before your fingers began working away at the metal bolts which held it in place. The small bolt was difficult to grip, as the minimal feeling you had in your hands melted away with the dropping temperature.

“Mam, shouldn’t you put on your restraint?” Iris questioned, her eyes hesitating on the loose straps beside you. Ignoring the comment, you continued to twirl at the bolts which connected the cargo strap, the metal quietly shrieking as it slowly came away.

“It’s not important right now.” You disregarded, your breathing faltering. “Listen, what I’m going to do is use this buckle to attach your chair to mine and the wall, that way if it breaks away we have a contingency plan.”

Ensign Vea tilted her head in slight confusion, her eyes still glistening with fear. Frowning, you glanced back from your shoulder again. You recognised the look on her face as the very same one you held on your the day that Jim had ‘died’, fear had clouded your mind distorting your judgement and understanding of the simplest of actions.

Deciding to lighten the mood, you gave up on explaining the reasons behind your plan.  “Tell me, are you looking forward to the end of this five year crap or is it just me?”

The comment seemed to earn a smile as Iris nodded slowly, her hands rubbing away at a ring which was perched on her finger. “I- I know it’s only been a year but yes, I am missing home.”

“I bet! You got any family waiting for you?”

“Just- Just a younger brother.”

You nodded, your eyes snapping back to the bolt as the first one gave way. However as it did, the whole piece of metal shuddered menacingly. Frowning, you bent your head low to follow the sound, your eyes widening as Ensign Vea’s chair slowly slid closer to the breach. Taking a deep breath, you quickly began to work away at the second and final bolt.

“Mam!” Iris gasped worryingly, her hand clasping your shoulder. Sitting upright, you pulled her hand away, taking note of the ring she had been playing with and it’s position.

“It’s ok.” You hushed, “So just a younger brother? You’re telling me that fancy ring on your finger is just for show?”

Feeling the bolt begin to loosen, you allowed yourself to relax slightly. Everything was going to be OK, you just had to believe it yourself for it to count. Catching a glimpse of Jim, you noted the Captain was smiling proudly; his eyes still casting a contradictory shade of worry at your predicament. Ignoring your best friend, you turned your attention back to the conversation with Iris.

“Well…” Iris smiled to herself, her eyes falling to the ring once again. “There is this girl. I’ve known her since I was little, we always said we were best friends but what I felt wasn’t friendship. I didn’t know what it was at the time, I guess I didn’t see it.”

“See what?” You echoed, the bolt finally coming free in your hands. Grasping the brace, you pulled it upwards and onto your lap, your numb and freezing fingers frantically working away at the metal clasp; preparing it to wrap around the ensign’s chair.

“That the feeling which overwhelmed me every time I saw her wasn’t that of companionship-” Iris stammered, her teeth chattering from both the cold temperature drop and the nerves which painstakingly wracked her body. “That I loved her.”

You paused your actions momentarily, biting your lip as you risked a glance across to Kirk.

The captain seemed distracted again with the ensign beside him, his head bent forwards and casting his hair partially over his face. Only now could you see from your different position that the redshirt he spoke to appeared to be injured, the man’s face pale as he pawed desperately at his own torso.

“I didn’t hesitate to say yes.” Iris added, pulling you in from your reverie.

Smiling you nodded mutely, your hands undoing the clasp as you leant down to begin to wrap the leather strap to the bottom of her seat. “Well, whoever the lucky lady is she is going to be so impressed with you! This is one hell of a story!”

Ensign Vea nodded slowly, her mouth opening to respond when the shuttle suddenly rocked. A loud crashing sound reverberated through the hull as the remainder of the right engine pulled away from the shuttle; your hands barely clasping to the edge of your chair to hold you in place.

Beside you however, the final rock had been enough to weaken the metal holding Iris’s chair. In a sudden flurry of movement and screeching metal, the leather strap which hadn’t been fastened unravelled; flinging across the shuttle as the young woman was flung towards the breach.

“IRIS!”

Grasping her wrist, you caught Ensign Vea before she slipped through the hole completely; her chest heaving as the braces from her seat dug tightly into her abdomen.

“NO!” The young woman cried, her voice breaking as she struggled to maintain her composure. “P-Please don’t let go!”

Tightening your grip on Iris, you felt your own body begin to slip towards the breach; a side effect of not doing up your own brace earlier. Straining against the pull, you tried unsuccessfully to pull her closer, your hand on the other side of your own chair slipping.

“I’m not going to let go! Hold on!”

“PLEASE!” Iris cried loudly, the tears which had graced her face earlier returning.

“IRIS…” You grunted, your hand slipping on the metal of your chair. Shifting your position, you flinched as your grip began to falter on the woman’s wrist. Feeling your breath quicken as panic settled, you found your gaze meeting the Ensign Vea’s; only now just taking in her face.

Wide green eyes stared into your own with a haunting expression, the tears which spilled on to her cheeks reflected your own image as you could only watch in horror. The long dark brown hair was uncontrollably whipping across her face, the tip of her nose a rosy red as the bitter wind bit away at her extremities. Gulping, you watched mutely as she slowly looked down at your hand; your grip around her faltering as did her own.

“PLEASE…” She whispered, her eyes closing as she resigned to her fate.  “Tell my brother tha-”

“IRIS!” You cried, her hand finally slipping through yours. Digging your nails against the slipping skin, you winced as the rough metal of her engagement ring scraped across your palm leaving a shallow graze from its contact. Flipping backwards, Iris let out a final scream as she flew through the breach and down towards the land below.

Shock began to take over you as the hand which had been holding Iris seized up into a tight fist, your own grip on your chair faltering as you began to slip away from your seat. You were moments from falling to the floor when the warm arms of Jim Kirk suddenly surrounded you, pushing you back against the chair.

“(Y/N) I GOT YOU!” Jim exclaimed, his body hunched over yours as he held tightly onto the armrests of your chair.

“Iris…” You repeated defeatedly, your eyes wide and unblinking as your thoughts lingered on the face which had looked to you for hope.

“CAPTAIN BRACE FOR IMPACT!”

“(Y/N) We need to sit down now!” Jim stressed, his hands reaching for your brace as he pushed your arms back into it. Pulling the leather tight he proceeded to slam the metal clasp shut, a soft click filling the air as it signalled its attachment.

“I-I dropped her.” You muttered, a single tear slipping from your eye as you screwed your fist tighter in anger.

“SEVEN” The pilot shouted, beginning his countdown for impact.

“No you didn’t.” Jim reassured, giving the brace one last tug he slipped into the space beside you where the cargo clasp had been. “There, now get down.”

“SIX!”

You nodded slowly as you slowly flexed your wrist, the skin of your palm pinching as a sharp metal scraped against it. Frowning, you brought your fist upwards and uncurled it slowly; revealing the Iris’s engagement ring. The only remnant of the officer you had failed.

“FIVE”

The tears slipped freely from your eyes as you fisted your hand again, the small gold ring safe between your fingers.

“(Y/N)”

“FOUR”

Turning, your eyes met Jim’s. The captain had since slipped into the chair on the other side of the cargo section, his arm extended out towards you as he gestured for you to take his hand. Frowning, you reached outwards only to hesitate as the shuttle shook violently; the bottom of the hull scraping against the first part of terrain.

Screaming your hand snapped to your brace as you held on for dear life. Beside you a large compartment overhead positioned above Kirk shattered, the support which had been provided by the cargo brace on the wall now gone. You watched in horror as it wobbled and began to topple over onto the Captain.

“JIM WATCH OUT!” You cried in warning.

“THREE”

The large compartment fell awkwardly to the side, its metal edge slamming into Kirk’s right leg hard; a sickening crunch resulting from the impact. Instantaneously a loud roar of pain tore from Kirk’s mouth as he threw his head backwards, his face tightening in pain.

“TWO”

Feeling bile rise in your throat you blinked away the unfallen tears, “JIM!”

“ONE!”

**O-=**

_You leant back against the side of the shuttle, your hands tight around your chest as you watched Jim Kirk approach you; a sheepish look adorning his face. A wave of affection washed over you at the sight of his posture and puppy like eyes, your heart rate increasing and forcing you to acknowledge the unwanted feelings. Pushing away from the hull, you stepped forwards towards the captain, your eyes narrowed._

_“So let me get this straight.” You began slowly, your lips drawing out every word. “The only reason I am coming along is so that I can keep you entertained.”_

_Jim shrugged the comment off, his eyes catching sight of one of the pilots; accepting a pad which was held out for him. “More of less.”_

_You rolled your eyes dramatically as you walked around the captain, your hands grabbing him by the shoulders and squeezing them tightly. “Jim, this is the perfect opportunity for me to gain more experience as an acting captain! Take Spock!”_

_“(Y/N), you’re the Executive Officer, there is going to be plenty of time for experience!”Jim countered, his fingers tracing over the pad screen as he signed his name and handed back to the pilot. Nodding in confirmation, the officer gestured wordlessly towards the shuttle before stepping inside of the hull._

_Following behind, Jim walked up the short metallic platform; his hand clasping on to the doorway as he glanced back across his shoulder and gestured for you to follow. Sighing in defeat, you stumbled after the man._

_“I see how it is, you just don’t want me leaving.”_

_“What!” Jim snorted, clearly amused by your antics. Reaching one of the centre seats aboard the shuttle, the captain fell back into the chair and began to adjust his brace._

_“You can’t bear to see this place without me!” You elaborated, taking a seat beside Jim._

_“That’s an exaggeration and a half!”_

_“What is it then?” You sighed, your fingers lifting the metallic clasp and sliding the connector through. At the soft click you allowed the leather straps to fall loose against your chest, your head rolling to the side to face one of your closest friends. “I’m going to be a captain one day!”_

_“Exactly!” Jim laughed, his teeth flashing white as his deep blue eyes met your own. “I am just dragging the time out until that day, sparing as many people as I can from your tyranny!”_

_You blew an exaggerated raspberry, drawing the attention of the nearby ensigns. “Need I remind you, I actually- ‘technically’- passed the Kobayashi Maru.”_

_“No, you failed like you were meant to.”_

_“Yeah, so what? Really that counts as a pass!”_

_“No it doesn’t! I passed! I beat the test!”_

_“You cheated!”_

_Jim sighed as one of the security officers approached, handing him yet another pad to read. Sparing you a brief glance, a wry smile spread across his features._

_“If you want to get technical, then really it wasn’t me who altered the parameters of the program.”_

Your eyes slipped open gradually as you gazed around the shuttle blearily, a strong and heavy pressure pulsing away at your temples. Groaning, your hand rose slowly to the side of your face gently prodding away at the pressure delicately; your eyes straining in the low light.

The leather straps of the seat you sat in dug tightly against your arms as you hung forwards at a ninety degree angle. To the left of you a freezing wind blew softly into the hull, carrying a sprinkling of snowflakes with it as it slowly claimed the shuttle. From what you could see the shuttle had crashed amongst the mountains, in the distance the neutron star slowly dipped towards the horizon indicating that you had been unconscious for some time. Suppressing a shiver, your fingers began fumbling for the clasp wasting no time in releasing the mechanism.

Just as quickly as the blood had rushed to your head, you fell forwards and away from your seat, face first to the metal floor of the shuttle. Grunting, your hands splayed outwards as your body rolled to the side, a soft clattering of metal filling the air before you gradually came to a halt.

“That was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.”

You snapped to attention at the voice, abandoning all plans on recovering from the fall. Looking straight ahead, your eyes found that of Kirk’s; a pained expression pulled taut across his features. Opening your mouth in surprise, you scrambled across the ground towards the captain as quickly as you could.

“Jim?” You questioned as you pulled up beside him.

Jim Kirk laid splayed across the floor of the shuttle, his body arched to one side as the large container unit which had come free during the crash rested across his lower body. Frowning, your eyes trailed the compartment carefully, it appeared more like a wrangled piece of metal compared to what it had been before; the only evidence of Jim being trapped that of his oddly angled ankle which stuck out at the end.

“My god.” You whispered, your face turning back to his own.

Wincing Jim managed a small shrug. “I’m OK.”

“Don’t be a martyr.” You dismissed softly, crawling forwards you got closer to his face; his skin shimmering with a thin layer of sweat.  “What hurts?”

Jim laughed breathlessly before wincing again, “Seriously? I am being crushed by a compartment and you ask me-” He broke off, a small chuckle escaping his lips again as the smile you had come to love remained fixed on his face.

Ignoring the anxiousness which settled in your stomach you nodded enthusiastically. “I’m not a doctor, Jim. How am I supposed to know?”

Meeting your eyes, Jim’s smile faltered as he hissed in pain; his arms gesturing to his lower half. “My leg hurts the most, the rest is bearable.”

“That’s not a good sign.”

“What?”

“You just willingly told me how you felt!” You paused, your legs tucking beneath you as you positioned yourself beside his lower half. “The Jim Kirk I know never tells anyone how he’s feeling.”

“Shut-up.” Jim grunted, his head rolling back against the wall behind him. Sighing, the captain closed his eyes.

Taking the moment as your best chance, you leaned forwards carefully; assessing the extent of the damage to Jim’s legs. However your time was brief as the mass of twisted metal prevented you from assessing his injuries in detail, the only clue to the severity available to you being that of the small puddle of blood settled around his right leg.

Falling back onto the heels of your feet, you bit your lip. “Jim, I need to move this off you.”

“I know.” Jim acknowledged simply, his eyes still closed. “I’m preparing myself.”

You nodded in understanding, your hands hesitantly reaching out towards the mangled mess of metal. With trembling fingers you delicately laid a finger on top, instantly eliciting a moan from Jim at the contact. Pulling away suddenly, your eyes shot to Jim as you searched his own for an alternative.

“It’s OK (Y/N).” Jim reassured, his smile returning and quelling the fear which broiled in your stomach. “Just do it quickly.”

You nodded wordlessly as you placed your hands on the metal once more, your fingers wrapping around the coarse material as you prepared to lift it away from him. Taking a deep breath, you bit down hard on the inside of your mouth as you pulled upwards sharply; your arms quaking as the metal slowly lifted away from Jim’s legs.

Through gritted teeth, the captain groaned loudly; the sweat which had broken out across his skin easily visible as a trail slipped down the side of his face. Dragging the metal across the ground, you moved the compartment so it was fully out of the way before dumping it unceremoniously.

Rushing forwards you fell to your knees beside Jim once more, his eyes closed as he tried in vain to control his rapid breathing. Taking the time, you began to assess his injuries only to force away the gag which tore through your throat. With watered eyes you looked away abruptly, your hand pressed tightly against your mouth as you took a deep breath of the cold air which breezed through the breach.

Feeling under control, you turned around once again, your eyes resting on the contorted leg of Jim Kirk. His knee appeared to have been completely reorganised, with part of his leg rested at a forty five degree angle while the rest remained completely flat. It was most definitely broken, a thought which was cemented as you spotted a fragment of yellowish bone material sticking jaggedly out from his skin; the material of his Starfleet issued trousers hanging loosely beside it.

Reaching for the hem of your uniform, you pulled the upper layer of the dress over your head; leaving you in just your thermal underlayer. Goosebumps erupted across your back, causing the hairs on your arms to rise as a result of the cold; but your body temperature was the least of your worries now.

Smoothing the material out, you delicately laid it across Jim’s leg concealing the compound fracture from prying eyes; your hands tucking the material around so that it was stable.

“What’s wrong?”

You glanced upwards just in time to register Jim coming around, he had obviously passed out from the pain; something you didn’t blame him for. Glancing back to the leg, you numbly noted that your golden uniform was already turning crimson as it soaked up the blood which leaked from the open wound.

“(Y/N)?” Jim probed again, his face as white as a sheet.

Smiling you batted the comment away with a wave of your hand. “It’s fine, you’re just overreacting as usual.”

Jim smirked briefly, his eyes glazed over from pain. You hated seeing him like this, especially when his cerulean eyes were missing their usual spark of intrigue, a spark which never ceased to spread through you like wildfire causing your stomach to flip with admiration.

“You forget it’s my leg, and I know that it’s not fine.” Kirk reiterated, reining you in from your reverie.

“Fine.” You sighed in defeat, burying your feelings away. “It’s broken but thats all.”

Kirk’s eyes narrowed as he tried to lean forwards, only to grumble against the action seconds later. “Something tells me you’re still lying.”

You snorted, “You’re my superior officer, have I ever lied to you before?”

“Yes.”

Ignoring his answer, you rose to your feet, your attention turning to the rest of the occupants who had been aboard the shuttle prior to the crash. Although your heart screamed at you not to leave Jim, your head told you otherwise. If there was another officer of able body, then they could help you secure the shuttle and aid the injured. There was no use doing it all alone when there were lives at stake.

“I need to check the others quickly.” You excused, knowing fully well that anymore time spent under his scrupulous gaze and you would cave to his questions.

Spinning slowly, you began to walk to the left of Jim, pausing briefly you glanced back. “Can you just promise me that you won’t move at all, not even an inch.”

Jim nodded in agreement, his eyes fluttering as he struggled to keep them open. “I don’t think I am going anywhere for a while, don’t you?”

You nodded mutely, your mouth opening to comeback with a quirky answer but failing.

“Can you check Ensign Rena first? He had a wound on his abdomen before the crash.”

Shaking your head at the captain’s selfless attitude, you abided by his order and headed straight to the other side of the shuttle. Rounding the now distorted alignment of chairs, you crouched down before the unconscious body of Ensign Rena; still strapped tightly into his seat.

Reaching outwards you pressed down hard on the clasp, releasing the buckles and brushing them off his shoulders. Instantly Rena slouched forwards, his head hanging limply. You crouched down carefully as your eyes scoured the ensign for injury. The young man before you appeared to quake violently as shivers wracked his body; his skin as white as the snow which slowly found it’s way into the shuttle.

Resting a hand against his forehead, you pulled away abruptly from the bitter cold he radiated. Dropping your eyes to his chest, your heart plummeted at the sight of a piece of shrapnel protruding from his abdomen; blood slipping through his fingers and onto the floor before him. Jim had been right.

“Shit.” You hissed, your hands toying with the edge of your thermal dress.

Ignoring the chill which continued to seep across you, you tore away at the dress once again bringing the jagged hem higher up your thighs. Tugging the black material tightly, you twisted it into a long coil before looping it around the ensign’s back and across his torso; tying it as tightly as you could in a makeshift bandage. Carefully, you made sure to avoid the extruding metal leaving it in his abdomen as to ensure you didn’t cause anymore damage in removing it.

“What’s wrong?” Jim’s voice called weakly from the other side, presumably he had heard you curse and was assuming the worst.

“There’s a lot of blood!” You reported, your fingers finishing the knot. Pressing two of your index fingers against the man’s neck, you released a sigh of relief as his pulse drummed albeit weakly against them. “He’s still with us though.”

“Good, that’s good.” Jim seemed to share the relief you portrayed in your voice before piping up once again. “The pilots?”

Moving back across to the front of the ship, you tried to ignore the look Jim gave you as he followed your legs up to your shortened dress, or the way he raised an inquisitive eyebrow as a response.

Reaching the front of the shuttle, you extended your arm forwards, your fingers tightening around the metal handle of the cockpit door as you pulled away the barrier which had been loosely swinging to and fro during the crash.

Gasping you stumbled backwards in surprise as the body of one of the pilots fell into you, his eyes wide and lifeless as blood slowly slipped from his mouth. Grabbing him tightly by the shoulders, you suppressed a scream. Although you had been an officer for Starfleet for many years and had come to expect the unexpected, the matter of the fact was, with all the training you were given, no one could have truly prepared you for the amount of death and danger you would encounter.

Giving a muffled apology, you slowly lowered the body of the pilot to the ground, a tinge of guilt encompassing you as you noted that the co-pilot had suffered a similar fate.

“Well?” Jim’s expectant voice questioned after a moment of silence.

“They’re… “ Your head fell as you walked back to Jim’s side. You knew how much it pained the man when a member of his crew passed away, and although the circumstances were well beyond his control he always carried their deaths on his shoulders.

 _‘Just like Ensign Vea’_ You noted, your eyes stinging at the memory of her fear stricken face.

“They’re dead Jim.” You conceded.

Kirk’s eyes seemed to falter as he looked away, focusing on the other side of the shuttle. “Shit.”

“I’m sorry.”  You apologised, before turning and checking on the remaining two occupants.

To the right of you, a science officer remained unconscious on the floor, his arm twisted across his body in an odd fashion which signalled to you that it had broken. You didn’t need to check his pulse as the steady rise and fall of his chest told you all you needed to know. Hope began to claim your heart as you turned to the body beside the unconscious science officer.

In a similar position laid the remaining security officer. The Orion groaned through her unconsciousness as her head shifted to the side, sparking your interest to check her further. With careful eyes and hands, you pressed down on the officer’s shoulder, arms and legs checking for any sign of an injury.

Slowly a genuine smile found it’s way to your face as you noted that unlike the others, the woman before you appeared to also be unharmed; her eyes fluttering against the back of her eyelids. Squeezing her shoulders tightly, you felt your heart skip a beat as her eyes fluttered open as a response; her face creasing up in confusion.

“M’am?”

“Take it easy.” You commanded softly as you retracted your hands from her shoulders.

Shifting into a seated position, the Orion’s eyes left your own and glanced around the shuttle gingerly. “What happened?”

“We crashed.” You answered simply. A small groan elicited from Jim caused you to pause, your head snapping to the side in worry briefly before returning to the officer before you.

“Listen, I need to get back to the captain and the rest of the injured, could you do me a favour?”

The officer nodded once, a small smile gracing her lips. “How can I help?”

“We need to seal that breach and warm this place up. Now I know for a fact that in the lower cargo area there was some tarpaulin material, perhaps if you can dig that out we can create a barrier.”

Nodding in confirmation, the Orion went to stand. “Leave it to me, M’am.”

“Hey,” You interrupted, catching the officer as she stumbled from the sudden movement. “Take your time, you’ve been through a lot.”

Smiling, she pushed away and headed towards the back end of the shuttle without another word.

Content that everyone was accounted for, you returned to Jim’s side without a second thought. A stone dropping in your stomach as you noted the colour which slowly drained from his already pale face with every passing moment.

Looking around the shuttle, your eyes sought after the nearby medkit which remained fixed to the wall beside the cockpit. Leaning across, you clasped at the plastic tightly tearing it away from its fixings effortlessly before settling on your knees beside Jim once again.

“What are you doing?” Jim questioned, his eyes following your hands as you rummaged through the kit for anything which could be at use. “See the others first- they’re more important!”

“No, they’re not.” You cut across, your tone sharp as you picked up the first Hypospray you found. Bringing it close to your eyes, you tilted the label into a small veil of light which slowly died with the setting star.  “I’ll go by severity of the injury, at the minute yours is the top of the list.”

“But Rena-”

“Is stable enough at the minute.” You interjected before he could continue.

Returning your focus to treating Kirk’s injuries, you squinted at the small writing on the side of the casing; your finger trailing the lettering in longing. Thankfully the hypospray you had selected was indeed a form of pain relief, it’s name and qualities meaningless to you as you unsheathed the needle.

“No-one looks nearly as bad as you do.”

Jim flinched as you brought the needle down on to his neck, the soft hiss of the medicine being administered settling the butterflies which wracked your abdomen.

“Have you looked at yourself?” Kirk scoffed in response, a single eyebrow rising as he watched you closely.

You smirked at the usual carefree comment he made, your eyes tracing the wry smile which pulled across his lips. Pressing two fingers against his neck, you slowly massaged away at the spot where you had administered the injection, wordlessly working away at the tension which built there.

“(Y/N).” Jim stated simply, the worry which carried across in his tone of voice enough to make you stop.

Leaning onto the back of your heels once again, you dove back into the contents of the medkit. “I’m fine.”

“Our definition of fine is the same.” Jim avowed, his hand clamping around your wrist to stop your actions.

Averting your eyes, you swallowed away at your pinched throat. “No it’s not.”

Ignoring your statement, Jim pressed further; his grip tightening.  “Do you remember what happened yet? On the shuttle? I heard you what you said.”

Staring at his hands, you found yourself taking in the minute details; anything which would help you avoid his gaze. “No, but that’s probably the decompression.”

His hand shifted to your chin, forcing you to look upwards and into his eyes. Shaking in disagreement, Jim sighed as his blue orbs looked to your temple; to the site of where you head had ached earlier on during the crash. “Oh sure, it has nothing to do with massive gash across your forehead.”

Frowning, your hand rose to your temple pressing lightly as you tested the tender area of skin before pulling your fingers away; their surface covered in your blood.

“A concussion then.” You shrugged, your hand brushing his away as you turned back to the medkit.

“They can be dangerous.”

“Oh trust me, Jim. My Injury is nowhere as near as bad as yours.” You quipped, gripping a medical tricorder you pulled the device from the bag. Activating the screen, you sighed in relief as the device began to take Jim’s readings; a soft whirring sound filling the air.

Noticing the captain was beginning to fall asleep once again, you leaned over to his injured leg  delicately removing the fabric of your dress away. With the compound fracture exposed once more, you brought the tricorder close; the readings which gradually filled the screen not aiding your nerves.

Reaching out hesitantly, you softly prodded away at the lower part of the leg in order to test the blood flow.

“Can you feel this?”

“No.” Jim answered, his eyes still closed as he rolled his head limply. “I feel-”

“Wheezy?” You supplied, your hand gripping your dress and pulling it back across Jim’s wound. “Yeah your head is going to be up amongst the clouds for the next few hours or so.”

Jim flashed his teeth as he watched you through heavy eyelids. “You’re as bad as Bones.”

Suddenly the medical tricorder emitted a shrill beep, a notification for the completion of the test. Peering closely at the results, your heart skipped a beat as a sense of dread began to settle over you.

The fracture which Jim had sustained was both incredibly lucky, and terrible at the same time. The extrusion of bone had narrowly missed one of the main arteries which passed through a human leg, however it had still clipped a vein leading to the bleeding. He was bleeding out, but not as fast as he would have if the artery had been damaged.

What was worse, was the fact that due to the time which had passed before you had removed the compartment which pinned him in place, the open wound had spent enough time in an unsanitary condition to become infected.

Tears stung at your eyes as you discarded the tricorder to the side. “I’m worse, I have no idea what I’m doing or supposed to do.” You admitted in defeat, the buried emotions you had been concealing bubbling to the surface.

Jim reached outwards, punching you lightly in the arm. “I couldn’t have asked for a better nurse.”

Meeting his gaze, you noted how the captain seemed to have gauged his predicament from your current reaction; his eyes shimmering with an unidentifiable emotion as he tried to improve the atmosphere.

Following his lead, you laughed breathlessly. “I think you should have let Doctor McCoy do his extended first aid training with the command crew.”

“How was I supposed to know a situation like this would arise.” Kirk chuckled however it soon dissolved into coughing as his eyes clouded over in pain. Grabbing his hand tightly, you squeezed it in reassurance.

“You’re Jim Kirk. Situations like these always arise.”

Jim squeezed back just as hard, his head shaking in disagreement. “Not when you’re around.”

_The bar you sat in pulsed loudly as the foreign music rang against your ears. You had just finished your first Kobayashi Maru test, and ever since failing you couldn’t stop your mind from overthinking the situation. Every decision you had made had been wrong, resulting in the death of your crew. It was odd, you had been sure you had done everything to the book._

_Sinking lower into your drink, you pulled the glass to your lips; the vodka dancing around your mouth before you swallowed gently._

_“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a bar like this?”_

_You scoffed as you placed the glass down on to the wooden bar, your head tilting to face your new companion. “Girl?”_

_“Sorry” The guy corrected, his eyes trailing over every inch of your body before resting on your own gaze once again. “Woman.”_

_You recognised the guy before you easily, his reputation as a womaniser was well known throughout the academy. It was an accolade which seemed to both increase his popularity, as well as damage it. His blase, ‘don’t believe in no win scenario’ attitude had gotten him into more trouble than expected, but it hadn’t stopped him from rising to the top of many of your classes._

_“Well, whatever it is it isn’t to be harassed by men like you.” You spat uninterested, your fingers drumming against the side of your glass._

_“You don’t even know my name!” He exclaimed, his eyebrows twitching upwards in amusement. “How could you possibly know what I’m like?”_

_You smirked, abandoning your drink as you swivelled in your chair to face him. “Enlighten me then.”_

_“Captain James Tiberius Kirk” James articulated, placing a heavy amount of emphasis on his supposed rank. Extending a hand outwards, he awaited your reply. “-and you are?”_

_Deciding to play along with his plause, you leaned forwards; biting away at the bottom of your lip in a seductive manner. “Captain eh? Well you should have said sooner.” You paused, your hands ignoring his own as your fingers trailed his shoulder. “The names (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”_

_“It’s an easy mistake.” James dismissed, pulling his open arm away and instead leaning his head closer to your own; his breath was hot against your skin._

_“How long have you been exploring, Captain?” You drawled, your fingers massaging away at his shoulders amorously. You sudden demeanor change had attracted the attention of the various tenders around you, their eyes switching between their drinks and your forward position._

_“Well, I reckon it’s been just about a year-”_

_“Funny!” You interrupted, your movements ceasing as you withdrew your contact away from him. Resting back into your seat, you watched with mild amusement as confusion settled across Cadet Kirk’s features. “Because I could have sworn you were a Cadet.”_

_Enlightenment flooded the cadets eyes as he leaned away in shock. “How did you-”_

_  
“I’m in your class dumbass.” You grumbled, your hand encircling your drink once again as you threw the remainder of the vodka down the back of your throat. Ignoring the burning sensation which trickled down your esophagus, you gestured for the bartender to bring you your bill._

_“Rude.” Jim muttered to himself as he turned away, his eyes watching the bartender as he approached you with a small pad. “You could have told me sooner.”_

_Accepting the bill you began to sign your details, a small smile on your face as you suppressed a laugh. “If you ever paid attention you probably would have noticed yourself. That’s how I know what you’re like.”_

_You handed the pad back to the bartender, your hand scooping up your bag and personal belongings as you prepared to leave. Hesitating, you watched as Jim Kirk ordered a drink; his eyes already scanning the bar for another choice._

_“Do you ever stop?” You deadpanned, your eyebrow raised as he rolled his eyes back to you._

_A cocky grin settled across his features as the bartender placed a large glass of whisky before him. Nodding his head in thanks, the cadet proceeded to throw the drink back. “Only when I’m dead.”_

_“OI KIRK!”_

_Sputtering, Jim placed the glass down on the side as he tilted his head towards the voice. You followed his line of sight, spotting a small group of burly mechanics wandering forwards; their hands clenched tightly into fists._

_“Oh shit.” Jim cursed as he turned back to his drink, quickly finishing it off. Stepping away slightly, you found your feet righted in position as the group of men stopped before you; their hands crossed over their chests._

_“Hey Fellers-” Jim began, however he was cut off as the leader reached forwards and punched him hard across the face. Spinning abruptly, Jim fell forwards into the bar; his jaw rolling as he clutched at it in surprise._

_“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR SLEEPING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND!” The stranger declared, his hand flexing as he seemingly prepared himself for another round._

_  
Glancing back down to Jim, you leaned forwards slightly; his eyes returning to their usual clarity._

_“Ouch.” You commented in a hushed tone, your own grip tightening on your bag. “That looked like it hurt.”_

_“Thanks.” Jim groaned as he pulled himself up once again. His eyes blinking quickly as he regained his senses. You backed away again slowly, your eyes never leaving the altercation as the cadet turned around once more, his hands raised in the air in surrender. “I deserved that. Listen, I didn’t know that she-”_

_He was cut off again with a punch in the gut, his body arching forwards as it was followed up with a knee to his face. Falling to the ground, Jim groaned in pain; his hands positioning under his chest to climb back up only to be kicked in the gut once more._

_“YOU’RE GOING TO PAY KIRK!”_

_Your heartbeat quickened as you watched another person’s boot smack into Jim’s chest, his body quaking as it fell to the tiled floor. Glancing around the bar, you searched the other occupants eyes for any sign of protest and help, only to discover they were completely disinterested at the scene before them. The music which filled the atmosphere increased in volume slightly, as the bartender adjusted the sound so that Jim’s groans were drowned out._

_Gritting your teeth as the sight of injustice, you blindly marched forwards once again; your body coming between Jim and his attacker._

_“HEY!” You shouted, your eyes narrowing as you puffed your chest outwards in a vain attempt to appear impressive. “What exactly are you doing?”_

_“TEACHING THIS BRAT A LESSON!”_

_You tutted as you stepped forwards menacingly, a sadistic smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Well that brat happens to be accompanying me tonight, and unless you want to be stranded on Delta Vega for the next five years, I suggest that you back down.”_

_Behind you, Jim shifted slowly as he began to pull himself forwards. His hand encircling your ankle as he squeezed it wordlessly, feeling your facade falter you kept your mind focused as you continued on with your distraction._

_“And you are?” The stranger challenged, his head leaning closer as he stared into your eyes._

_Opening your mouth, you hesitated briefly before plucking a name from your memory. “Captain Garrovick of the USS Farragut.”_

_The man laughed deeply as he stepped away, the three friends around him copying his posture as they clapped each other on the back. Dread seeped through your stomach as you felt the grip on your ankle disappear, glancing down you frowned as you noted Jim Kirk had disappeared completely leaving you alone with the men before you._

_Swallowing your pride, you straightened your shoulders as the stranger leaned close once again; his calloused hand grabbing your shirt tightly as he pulled you closer. Flinching away at the rancid breath, you held your own as you stared him down._

_“You’re not Garrovick!” He hissed, his other hand tightening into a fist. “What? Do you think we’re stupid?”_

_You went to close your eyes, when a mop of familiar blonde hair caught your attention. Jim Kirk had maneuvered himself so that he was behind the stranger and his group of followers; his arm high as he clutched tightly onto a bottle. Slipping your hand behind your back, your fingers closed around a tumbler glass._

_“No.” You began as you pulled the glass closer, “-but it distracted you long enough for him to do that.”_

_Jim striked as he brought the bottle across one of the strangers accomplices head. Simultaneously you threw the glass tumbler wide and into the side of the face of the man holding you. Shouting in annoyance, he released his grip and stumbled away in shock. Jim who quickly elbowed the remaining accomplice in the face reached out for your hand, a exhilarating smile on his face as he whispered one word._

_“RUN!”_

_Pulling you closely behind, you both rushed through the emergency exit of the bar and down the street; the tarmac hitting hard beneath your sole as you struggled to keep up. With your hand still entwined with Jim’s, you risked a glance over your shoulder. Noting your change in pace, Kirk rounded the nearest corner of the first alleyway, pushing you back against the wall and into the shadows to conceal you both._

_Panting, Jim tenderly touched his abdomen as he began to evaluate his injuries. “So you’re in my class? Command track?”_

_You gasped as you began to get your breathing back under control, your head tilting to the side as you peered down the street back the way you come. Luckily, there was no sign of your assailants; they probably gave up as soon as you left the premises. Pushing Jim away from you and to the side, you relaxed back against the wall._

_“Yes” You admitted, your hands shaking from the adrenaline which pumped through your veins. “Although probably not for much longer after what happened in there.”_

_“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Cadet Kirk dismissed, “Thanks for helping back there. You didn’t need to though, I had it under control.”_

_“Under control?” You echoed in disbelief, turning your head to the side you met the young man’s gaze; his cerulean eyes melting your own. In the back of your mind, you noted that it should be a crime to be so attractive. “They were beating you into a pulp.”_

_Jim shrugged as he pushed away from the wall, spinning of his heel he gestured back to you. “All part of the plan, I mean I got the girl didn’t I?”_

_You shook your head, a brief spell of dizziness from the alcohol causing you to stumble slightly. Pushing away the support Kirk offered, you rose an accusing finger. “No you didn’t, and you won’t become a captain either if you keep doing shit like that!”_

_“Give me three years.” Kirk challenged, his hand extended outwards as he rose an eyebrow._

_“It’s five years.” You corrected as you slowly began to walk away and back towards the academy, “With any luck I will be a captain before you.”_

_Jim trailed behind, his hand now stuffed in his pocked. “Bet I’ll do it in three, and get there before you.”_

_A raspberry passed your lips as you stopped walking, turning to face the man before you._

_You knew you would later blame the alcohol which was pumping through your system, but in that moment your filter between your head and your mouth was completely gone. Sticking your hand outwards you twitched your lip into a smile. “The day you do that, is the day I sleep with you.”_

_Surprised, Jim’s own eyebrows rose to his hairline a smartass grin eating away at his lips. “Is that a challenge?”_

_“No Kirk, It’s a statement of confidence because It’s never going to happen.”_

_Taking your hand, Jim shook on it once before gesturing for you to carry on leading the way back to the academy. “We’ll see about that.” He muttered simply, causing you to instantly regret your decision to go out._

Blinking slowly you stared at the your hand mutely, your eyes tracing the graze which spread the width of your palm as you pulled yourself from the daydream. “No, I am pretty sure they still do happen.”

Jim smiled softly as his eyes trailed your face as if he was remembering every detail, “You did that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“That thing you always do” He elaborated, “When you stare off into the distance, lost in something.”

You snorted back a laugh as you slowly rose to your feet, your hands brushing down your thermals. “That’s because I’m remembering all the times we did get into trouble.”

“Do you mean like the night we met?”

Noting how Jim was struggling to stay awake, you rolled your eyes. Moving around to the other side of the captain, you grabbed a bundle of Cargo netting which laid discarded on the floor, bawling the elasticated fabric up into a makeshift pillow. “You mean the night I saved you from a bunch of bullies?”

Jim swayed his head as he seemed to debate your comment internally. “I remember it differently.”

“Of course you do.” You sighed, reaching forwards you gently pulled Jim’s shoulders away from the wall, slipping the bundle of netting behind him to support his head.  “Get some sleep idiot.”

Yawning, Jim did just that; his eyes slipping closed before starting to softly snore.

“Typical” You breathed, before turning and heading off to help the Orion Ensign to secure the shuttle.

**O-=**

The next few hours were a blur for you as yourself and Ensign Niko as you discovered her name, prepared the shuttle. It was harder than you expected sealing the breach, the tarpaulin which you had stored was nowhere near large enough to cover the entirety of the hole. However after a little bit of sweat and hard work, the majority of the breach was concealed; ceasing the freezing drafts and allowing the temperature inside the shuttle to rise.

For a while, Nico had taken over watching the injured and burying the dead. She had expressed a large amount of concern for her colleague Rena, citing that if the man didn’t receive any form of medical treatment soon then he was likely to pass away from blood loss. The science officer: Ensign Kelly hadn’t stirred either, despite the freezing snow which Ensign Niko had rubbed against her temples.

Meanwhile you had moved to the front of the shuttle to try and establish a communication with the Enterprise. You knew fully well that they were likely aware of your crash, however the atmospheric distortions were probably affecting the scanners and delaying your rescue further. Being the only officer with any form of engineering knowledge, you had nominated yourself to be the one to fix up a signal.

Quickly and somewhat efficiently, you had rigged a simple distress signal using a form of morse code; providing the person on the opposite end with the correct frequency in order to establish a secure connection with the only communicator between you all. The hope was that using the communicators frequency, they would be able to lock on to your life forms for a successful beam. But then, with the way your luck was going what really were the chances?

Pleased with your handywork you stood upright in the cockpit, a frown gracing your features as dizziness overwhelmed your senses causing you to stumble slightly. Sighing, you moved back into the main hull; a relieved smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you noted Jim’s eyes fluttering open.

Shuffling to the centre of the room, you selected a couple of nutrition bars which yourself and Niko had scavenged from the remnants of the shuttle before settling on the floor before the Captain. As if he heard your thoughts, Jim’s eyes slipped open; revealing his glazed cerulean eyes.

“Morning, sleepy head.” You greeted, your eyebrows furrowing as you noted the increased palpitations Jim was experiencing.

“Ensign Niko!” You crowed. Almost instantly the Orion’s head poked through the tarpaulin, her eyes narrowing inwards to you as she looked for orders.

“Can you fetch me some snow?”

Nodding Niko disappeared briefly before emerging into the shuttle once more, a small pile of snow clutched between her hands. Accepting the freezing ice, you reached down to the dress which you had laid across Jim’s leg; tearing off an unbloodied piece of the fabric.

“How long was I out?” Jim wheezed, his breaths short and quick as he seemingly struggled to breathe. Glancing upwards, you shrugged as you placed the snow within the material and rolled it up into a ball.

“A couple of hours.” You answered honestly, leaning forwards you pressed the makeshift compress against his head; dabbing away at the beads of sweat. Groaning in relief, you smiled as you settled down beside Kirk; the closeness of you both not bothering you.

“In the meantime I sorted out the distress signal.” You explained, “Hopefully the Enterprise will find us, sooner rather than later.” You dabbed the compress against Jim’s head again, your actions faltering as his stomach growled loudly.

Offering a small laugh, you picked up one of the nutrition bars you had collected before. Pushing it into his hands, you gestured for him to eat it. “Here, I cooked your favourite.”

“These are the worst.” Jim groaned, his fingers tearing the foil apart to reveal a soggy mass of protein. “How are the others?”

“Fine, Ensign Niko helped me sort out the shuttle and is taking a breather.” You supplied helpfully, relief washing over you as Jim took a small bite of the nutrition bar. “Rena and Kelly are still unconcious..”

Swallowing dramatically, Jim placed the rest of the uneaten food beside him; his head rolling to the side as he watched you closely. “Isn’t it a bad thing that they’re both still out.”

“I suppose?” You sighed, your hand pressing the cold compress against his forehead for longer than before. The amount of heat radiating from him was enough to keep you warm when you sat in your thermals, an obvious symptom from the infection which he had sustained. “I did try waking them but there’s only so much I can do with this kit.”

Jim opened his mouth to respond, only to cough violently; his chest seizing and causing his leg to move minutely. With gritted teeth, Jim’s head fell back against the metal of the shuttle. Your heart breaking to see him this way.

“You on the other hand, didn’t stop shifting and fidgeting.” You paused as you moved the compress away from his forehead, leaving it on the ground beside you as you fiddled self consciously with your fingers. “You had me worried every time you went still!”

“Worried about me? Huh”

“Don’t sound so surprised Kirk.”

Offering a smile, Jim groaned as he rolled his shoulders. “Have you got anymore of that stuff you gave me before?”

Grabbing the tricorder which you had left beside the captain, you activated the screen to begin a quick scan of his condition. “Why is the pain that bad?”

“Yeah, and that’s saying something.”

Frowning at the readings, you tilted your body to the side; your fingers grabbing the end of your dress as you lifted it away from the open wound. Although the bleeding had slowed from the congealed blood which surrounded the bone fragment, a small trickle continued to soak the floor as pus seeped from the dying tissue.

“Shit.”

“What?”

Dropping the fabric you turned back to Jim. “Nothing.”

With a series of beeping, the tricorder reported the results of the scan. Jim was deteriorating rapidly, the infection was taking hold of his body and his loss of blood was slowly but gradually approaching the one and a half litre mark, the maximum amount to be lost from a leg wound being two and a half. Although his blood pressure was normal for the time being, it was dropping significantly with every hour as lethargy claimed him.

Searching through the medkit once again, you frowned as you picked up the remaining hypospray. Unfortunately it wasn’t the exact same pain killer, however the increased amount of sedative in its ingredients should be enough to numb the captains senses away from the pain. Unsheathing the needle, you leaned forwards; jim’s neck tilting to the side willingly as you pressed it against his skin.

“Better?” You questioned, your tone cracking as you massaged the tender area gently. Discarding the hypospray to one side, your mind hesitated on your actions and whether it was the right decision to have been made.

Grunting, Jim’s eyes found yours. “Hopefully it will be soon.”

“Good, I quite like talking to drugged up you.” You joked, your attempt to lighten the mood falling on deaf ears, “He’s more entertaining and a much better listener.”

Jim didn’t smile as he held your gaze, his hand rising to the side of your face as he tilted your chin to the side; exposing your own wound further. “How’s the head?”

“Aching but otherwise OK.” You lied.

“Did you get rest?”

“No, I couldn’t sleep.” You paused as your heart hammered against your chest, your fingers longing to meet his own and entwine themselves. Falling back onto your heels, you settled down once again, Jim’s hand falling away as you took up the compress once more.

“You’ve been through just as much as the rest of us.” Kirk mumbled, a yawn passing his lips as the sedative began to work.

Your eyes watered as you considered your situation, stranded on the side of the mountain with the majority of the crew around you either injured or dead. But you were more or less completely fine, the only factor limiting you being the emotions you struggled to control.

“That’s not really true” You confessed guilty, the face of Ensign Vea slipping to the forefront of your mind. Slowly tears spilled from your eyes as you dipped your head in shame.

“It’s not your fault you know, Ensign Vea.”

Your eyes rose to Jim as he smiled sadly through his pain, his hands resting across his chest as he took a thready breath inwards.

“You did your best to try and save her-”

“Thanks for the concern Jim” You cut across, the tears shimmering as they slipped down your cheeks. “-but your pep talk isn’t going to work today.”

Smiling at the challenge, Jim shifted under your touch. “I bet it will, you just need to give it a chance.”

“I bet it won’t.”

“You lost the last bet we made, remember?”

_The doors to the Captain’s quarters hissed open slowly, revealing the dishevelled appearance of Jim Kirk. Large bags hung under his eyes as he stared at you in both surprise and confusion._

_“Captain.” You greeted, biting away at the inside of your lip you passed Jim without another word, entering his quarters regardless of permission._

_“Commander (Y/L/N)”_

_You waited for the doors to close before you met his gaze once more. Although he looked the same, the man which stood before you wasn’t the same Jim Kirk you had met at the academy all them years ago. Instead, stood a hero in his place. You had been on the bridge when he exploded on to the scene, demanding the ship be stopped mid warp; the usual cocky persona he carried long discarded._

_“I wanted to congratulate you personally on your award.” You began, your feet shuffling forwards as your fingers traced the lines in your palm. “And to offer my condolences for what happened to Admiral Pike.”_

_“Thank you (Y/N)” Jim smiled, his hand running across his hair as he smoothed it down to some degree. “But there is no need for formalities.”_

_You sighed, looking down towards your feet. “I wanted to apologise aswell, for a comment I made early on at the academy. I questioned your ability to be a captain when I barely knew you, and after watching how you defeated Nero and saved the Admiral I realised that…”_

_You paused as Jim moved closer to you, his feet encroaching your vision as you slowly trailed his legs back up to his face. His deep blue eyes gazed into your own, causing your voice to crack. “We couldn’t have asked for a better person, and for that I am sorry Jim.”_

_“It’s long forgotten.” He excused, a wry smile filling his features as he tilted his head to the side in consideration. “But you know, we both said some things that night-”_

_Acknowledging the fact he was referring to your bet, you chuckled softly. “Trust you to go and become a Captain.”_

_“You remember then?” His eyebrow rose as if surprised by the notion._

_You smiled widely, how could you ever forget that night? If you were being honest, you were surprised he even remembered at all. “Of course I remember!”_

_Jim’s smile fell as a lustful look swept across his features, his nose wrinkling slightly as his hands hesitated by your side. With the feeling infectious, your eyes dropped to his lips, biting away at your own as you debated internally over your decision._

_‘The day you do that, is the day I sleep with you.’_

_With your words echoing in your ear your feet shuffled closer, Jim’s hands finally resting on your shoulders and causing you to snap up to him suddenly; his breath hot on your face as you leaned closer._

_“Listen (Y/N), I am not expecting you to-”_

_You pressed a finger against his lip silencing him._

_  
“I want to.”_

_Moving your hand away you pushed your lips against his, his own encasing yours in an odd sense of warmth and security. Letting your hands roam, you slowly moved to his hair; your fingers slipping through the short blonde locks delicately as you pushed him closer to deepen the kiss._

_Following your movements, Jim’s own hands slipped down from your shoulders and to your waist; his grip tightening as he pulled you up into the air above him. With your lips still locked together, you gasped at the sudden change in position providing Kirk’s tongue entrance to your mouth. Moaning, you wrapped yours legs around his chest as he slowly lowered you back down to head height; your tongues entwined in an uncoordinated dance between your mouths._

_Carrying you across the room, Jim eventually released his hold on you throwing you back down on to his bed. Splaying outwards, you laid frozen as he slowly crawled up your front; his fingers clinging at your dress as he pulled it high and over your head._

_The cold draft which filled the room set your nerves alight, the hairs rising on the back of your neck as Jim slowly positioned himself so that he was resting above you. His arms leveled with yours as his hands traced your forearms lightly, tracing the tendons right down to your palms where his fingers slowly entwined between yours._

_Tightening his grip, he forced them away leaving you helpless as his lips trailed away from your own and down the side of your neck. His teeth grazing the sensitive skin, as he sucked and nipped in a selfish attempt to leave a reddened mark._

_“Jim” You cooed as he slowly nibbled away at the skin at the bottom of your neck, his saliva cooling the burning sensation which tensed your muscles._

_Slipping your hands free from his grasp, you wasted no time as you latched on to the end of his command shirt, throwing it high over his head and to the floor. You paused in your attack however, as your eyes locked onto a trail of deep purple and red bruises which lined his abdomen and chest. Reaching outwards slowly, your finger delicately trailed the sensitive skin; your nail just touching the surface._

_Flinching at your touch, Jim ceased his attack on your neck, his head pulling back as he met your eyes; his blue orbs filled with passion and lust. Smirking, your trailed the back of your nails across his skin once again, the sensation causing him to twitch abruptly._

_“Ticklish?”_

_Smirking, Jim’s own hands encircled your waist and pulled you upright and into a sitting position. His fingers releasing the clasp to your bra effortlessly and discarding it to the side, before allowing you to flop back onto the bed._

_Feeling your cheeks burn a deep red at your exposure you went to cover yourself only for Jim’s hands to force your wrists back above your head. Arousal settled across his features as he looked down at your body in awe, his face disappearing towards the rim of your underwear. Dying from anticipation, your gasped loudly as Kirk’s tongue made contact to your skin just below your belly button. Your skin was set on fire as he painstakingly dragged his tongue up through the centre of your abdomen and chest; your skin clenching involuntarily as you squirmed under the sensation._

_Reaching your lips once again, a smartass grin spread across Jim’s features. “Ticklish?” He echoed, his lips returning to your own as he bit at your bottom lip._

_Moaning in pleasure, Jim’s hands moved away from your wrists and instead to your breasts. Kneading them rhythmically, Kirk’s fingers left a trail of goosebumps in their wake as he began twisting nipples; his mouth returning back to the bottom of your neck._

_“One thing-” You moaned as your stomach began to knot itself in pleasure, losing yourself to the moment. “After this we don’t mention it ever again. We are-”_

_“Just friends?” Jim supplied as he mumbled into your neck. Nodding breathlessly, you shifted under his touch as his left hand abandoned your breast and moved south towards your wet sex._

You looked away flustered as you forced the image away to the back of your mind, your cheeks burning a deep red as the ghost sensation of his tongue on your skin reawakened. Jim watched in a similar daze as you both returned back to the situation at hand.

“I thought we had a deal never to mention that night again?” You accused, your words low as you glanced around the shuttle to ensure none of the other occupants had heard his ‘in depth’ description which accompanied your memory.

Sighing, Jim’s eyes fluttered on the brink of closing as his chest constricting once more; his breaths faltering as he coughed loudly. “That was the best night of my life, how could I not?”

Your heart skipped a beat as you felt the butterflies return to your stomach. He didn’t mean that, you had injected him with a sedative mere moments before, there was no way that he meant what he said.

“That drug must be good.” You acknowledged, eager to dispel the awkwardness which threatened to surround you.

“That wasn’t the drugs talking.”

You froze as Jim’s hand sought yours once more; his fingers slipping between your own as he pulled you closer into him.

Gulping you stared wide eyed, your noses inches apart. “Jim. We had an agreement, I thought we said that this should never be a thing, that we were better off as friends.”

“We did,” Kirk reasoned, a desperate look flooding his irises. “But things can change. Here-”

As his left hand fully entwined with your own, you felt the a small piece of metal slip from his clammy palm into your own; the stone which graced its surface perfectly mirroring the graze which spammed your hand. Frowning, your eyes drifted downwards as you pulled your fingers free; your gaze falling upon Ensign Vea’s ring.

“You dropped it when you fell.” He explained, his chest heaving as he struggled to speak. “I heard what Ensign Vea said, about not realising what she had.”

“Jim-”

“Oh can you just shut your mouth for once, and know that you are everything to me!” Jim hushed, his breathing faltering as his eyes struggled to remain open. Numbly, you watched as a bead of sweat trickled down his nose; collecting into a small droplet before falling away from his face.

“I have felt something for you ever since the night we met. You felt it to, I know you did but we just accepted what happened and lived our lives without questioning it? Without acknowledging what it was we felt?”

Your eyes snapped away from Jim and to the ring in your hand, your mind acknowledging what it stood to mean. “It was for the best, you are the captain.”

“Captain or not, I want you now (Y/N). I want you every single time I open my eyes in the morning.” His forehead pressed against the side of your face, coaxing you to turn back to him. Nestling your noses close together, Jim sighed as he winced sharply from the pain.

“Please don’t let me down.” He urged, his eyes closing as he inhaled deeply. Mirroring his actions, you took a deep breath of his scent, his musky smell assaulting your nostrils as it threatened to throw you back to that night.

“If I get through this-” Jim continued, “Can we just let go and give it a chance, just this once?”

“What if it doesn’t work Jim?” You stammered, his lips drawing closer to your own. “Things won’t ever be the same between us.”

Shrugging, Jim’s stare returned as his eyes pleaded with you silently. “Only if we let it.”

Forgetting your surroundings your eyes fell to his lips, you teeth biting your own in temptation. Spotting the menial action, Jim ceased the moment and covered your mouth with his own in a hungry and passionate kiss. You responded immediately and without hesitation, as the feelings you had tried to suppress for years bubbled to the surface excitedly.

Jim’s mouth was so warm, his lips soft as he caressed your own; his tongue tentatively exploring your mouth as you released a low moan in approval. Placing his hand against the side of your cheek, his thumb traced the outline of your cheekbone; wiping away the tears which fell from your eyes.

You were so absorbed in the kiss that you weren’t fully away of the white light which surrounded you both, your mind too embedded in the pleasure which Jim created through his touch.

“Christ on a bike!”

Your lips broke apart instantly as you looked around the room sheepishly, your eyes wincing as you recognised the familiar layout of the Enterprise’s transporter room. Yourself and Jim laid across the pad, your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders as you struggled to keep Kirk in a comfortable position.

To the side of the room stood the familiar faces of Scotty, Lieutenant Uhura and Mister Spock, each of them in varied stages of shock; barring the latter who remained as emotionless as ever. Doctor McCoy on the other hand knelt before you both, his tricorder already out and scanning Jim while his head shook slowly in disapproval at the readings.

“Good to see you to, Bones.” Jim groaned, his eyes closing slowly as he suddenly went limp.

“Captain!” Spock exclaimed as he rushed forwards, placing a hand on his back Spock helped you to support the now flaccid captain, while Leonard finished up his scan of the injury.

“This isn’t good.” Leonard grumbled as he gestured for the nearby stretched to be pulled closer. Standing backwards, you watched in silence as Spock lifted Jim carefully onto the stretcher; McCoy already plunging a multitude of hyposprays in to the side of his neck as he barked orders at those around him.

Watching the small group leave a rush to sickbay, you felt your knees quake from the loss of adrenaline. However before you could completely collapse, Nyota’s arms surrounded your shoulders; pulling you close as she squeezed you tightly.

“Lets get you cleaned up.”


End file.
